It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
