White coat. Heels.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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