i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
