You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
