I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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