I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
