My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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