come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
