are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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