girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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