i barfeds in our rink
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize