Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
