I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
