I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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