I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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