I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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