my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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