I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
