i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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