And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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