you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
