Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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