What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
