after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
