Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
