Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
