you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
