Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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