All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
