do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
