Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
