Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
