He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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