i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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