Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
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if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
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He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.