ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.