I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
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drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
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My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.