I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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