You're my little dorito
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
