that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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