You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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