So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
