Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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