i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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