so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
