Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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