I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
