are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm going to jail i love you
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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