Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
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I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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