the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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