I wanna bring you to show and tell
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
