i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize