ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I can't turn off my feet"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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