so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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