Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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